Our  school week began Tuesday afternoon due to the ferry schedule, so it has been a quick week. Sasha dusted off (literally) an old microscope that no one could get to work, and with the help of the physics teacher managed to focus into seeing the surface of a leaf. We need a better way to focus the light, it works only at low magnifications and we must find a way to make a slide out of what we have available- which is not much, but it is a good start.

We are slowly getting into the rhythm of school, and planning lessons. Sasha is now in the STEM office with Ryan, as the final teacher (Geography) has arrived. It takes a lot to explain something the students are unfamiliar with, so we must get creative with what they do know. There are some students in each class that are quick to understand, one in Sasha’s class took out the textbook and came up to ask why she had not taught a somewhat obscure part of Halogen binding. It was a surprising question, since he was there when she had to explain what a precipitate was. She showed how the Malawi syllabus does not ask for it, and it will not be tested on but he is very passionate and to know more chemistry. Others in the class can’t be bothered to take their notes out during lecture.  

Wednesday is sports, all the boys go to Football (Soccer) and all the girls go to netball and a few from each go to volleyball. They run barefoot and still dressed in their uniforms. The next day, they were very strict and angry about anyone who had skipped sports. The people on the girls team had taken down names and knew who wasn’t there, though the people in charge of football had not. So girls were sent home for skipping, but no boys were. They also must all have shaved heads. We assumed everyone just liked having short hair as most people around here have very short hair, but it was announced as a requirement. The only other teacher who had long hair (by long we mean four inches) came in with extremely short hair as well so Sasha was getting nervous. We told them how in the States every girl in school has long hair, and the school no matter how strict would not ask girls to shave it. They were quite shocked, as you cannot learn with long hair. Many people were sent home that day for long hair- we’re talking long enough so you can just barely not see their scalp. A girl attended class one of Ryan’s classes with a pentagram on her jacket, but her hair was short enough so she got to stay. A girl in uniform was sent home because her shoes were black and white, not just black. There are other students who have never worn any part of the uniforms and are allowed to stay. We cannot figure out this pattern and are afraid to bring it up. If we know what the rules are we will be expected to enforce them and we would rather plead ignorance and keep our students in class.

Thursday Sasha gave the form 2s their first short assessment to know how much they knew and how much they did not. She wrote questions on the board and handed out notebook paper, then slowly walked around to see progress. Kids only started writing once she asked them personally. After 20 minutes many were still writing the questions. She had to erase the first question 30 minutes in and tell people to move on if it was not complete yet. 35 minutes in a student came up to change a question labeled “2 a. b. c.” to 2 A. B. C.” and 40 minutes in when it was time to go they did not want to hand it back in. Many tried to leave with it in their bags. She eventually got all but 2. Grading it was very disappointing, but now we know how much they know!

That evening we had our first teacher guest- Justice around to get movies. He is our second adult guest, the first one a neighbor who also wanted movies. He showed us “Share-it” an app like air drop for iphones that is very quick. Data is expensive so he shared it via blue tooth. He got Avatar from us to watch on his tiny phone screen. It is odd what of American culture has made it through. People have watched many of the Marvel movies, but no Disney movies. We also learned that there is not a single movie theatre in all of Malawi.

Friday, Sasha brought in the French Press. The teachers gathered as we waited the few minutes, and watched open-mouthed as she pushed the plunger down and began pouring. “You must try it first before adding sugar!” they agreed, tried it, and then added a lot of sugar. Justice was honest in that he preferred his own coffee, which was instant coffee mixed with tea. Upon further questioning, we learn “tea”, which is usually what he drinks, is just hot water and sugar. “This is Malawi, we make it simple. No need for anything else. With sugar and water, you have tea.” Only one- the Chichewa teacher who showed us how to wear a chitenge- took it without sugar.

 We had our first staff meeting. Sitting in the Teachers lounge on kindergarten sized chairs, shoulder to shoulder. The head teacher was gone, stuck on the lake as the weather was too rough. The English teacher took over. We began with a prayer, then by saying everyone’s names. We were very excited as we still did not know many, but they said it too quickly and with such unfamiliar sounds that we learned nothing knew. “The students are doing quite poorly. What can we do as teachers to improve their grades?” he asked, and waited. we felt we were students again, no one said anything. Eventually the priest, Moses, started with how the students were not serious about learning, and we cannot help them. Someone suggested more career counseling, so they know what they are doing and are more motivated. Eventually, Sasha piped up suggested perhaps instead of sending everyone home all the time and missing classes, we try something else. Like detention. That way, they do not fall behind and instead are forced to do homework. Benson explained this was not possible, as they do not understand punishment. And what if they do not show up? Some of the younger teachers did seem to agree, the older ones said this is how we do it. Which is odd to try so hard to get answers out of us as to how to change, and then when we suggest something they say that way is not done. They brought us Sodas and a sleeve of crackers each an hour in. By the end, we had each finished an entire sleeve. The English teacher announced the board wants us to have a staff meeting that everyone attends before the first day of school. We explain that is unrealistic, we have two weeks of break and the boat comes back on a Tuesday. We will not lose a week of break for a staff meeting. Why not have it on the last day of school? After another half hour of discussion it was decided that it would be held on Sunday because that is the way it is done. From the grumbles it sounds like it will be a sparsely attended meeting.

On Saturday we slept in and had a lazy morning, and set off around 9am for Mango Drift. We tried a new way, and the roads didn’t line up well with google maps. Two boys began following us, occasionally pointing at signs for Mango Drift and asking for our Water Bottle. Finally, we make it, and learn the whole place has been rented out by one family. They are quite friendly and curious about where we came from, but it was a little awkward. We order our pizza (30-45 minute wait time), sit down and read, and get it hour and a half later (good ol’ Malawi time). We slowly eat both savoring every bite of cheesy goodness, then Sasha goes for a paddle board along the beach. We get our fill of the water, and then walk back. More children mob us again asking for our bottle. Those are tough to get here; we aren’t giving up our bottles!

We sit on the porch and sip our water, while Ryan chats with his family. Unexpectedly a bat is flying around the front porch and crashes into Ryan’s leg, and then dies or is stunned on the ground. We watch it, and then poke It with a stick. It barely moves. We go inside to google Rabies. An article says to try to catch it so they can do a test. We open the door, and the cat meows at us. We wonder if she ate it, though it takes her at least a minute to eat a cockroach. We wash the leg and look for any bite marks, but none can be found under his hair and by the light of a cell phone. We text the hospital administrator who promises it is fine, but then we read an article about a man in BC who was hit by a bat which didn’t leave a mark, and then died shortly after. Rabies is a particularly evil disease as you feel totally fine for an unknown amount of time (10 weeks to 12 years) when it is curable, and then as soon as you first feel a little sick, there is no cure and you will die a very uncomfortable death soon after. We decide it is probably unlikely that it even had rabies and go to bed.

The next day we walk to the hospital, and the nurse we ask about the situation laughs and promises it is fine as well. Then we go to church around an hour late. People are still arriving. About an hour and a half in, they collect money and we go to the front and Ryan, having gone to church for a reasonable amount of time, makes his way home. Sasha toughs it out by sketching the hand of God. Then she walks to town to pick up her Chitenge.

The Chitenge is the colorful cloth you wrap around your waist to wear as a skirt, or around your back to carry a baby, or to put on your lap as you sit so no one can see up your skirt, or a great number of other things. I will have a difficult time not wearing one in the States. I walked to the tailors, which was open with no one inside so continued to the beach. It seems to be shower day, and a swarm of boys covered some rocks a ways from the beach. I stand with my feet in the water for awhile, and they chant “Camera! Camera!” I oblige with a photo and they cheer. I make my way to a rocky hill to the side of the beach “where are you going?” A 12 year old, Annie, asks. “I am not sure, I am exploring” “I will follow”. She and her sister walk with me up to an inn with a boat labelled “Ambulance” at the front. We walk to the top of the hill, and she points out her Grandmas house. Then her fathers. Her sister, Margaret comes out “Hello Sasha. I am form 3” She is in my Chemistry class, I really must take another round of photos since I do not remember her. Her father comes out to welcome me. I explain I am exploring, seeing what is around. “ah, you are moving. That is good.” I get the sense people don’t do that. We meet the Grandma on the way back, “your garden- it is beautiful” She smiles and nods. We walk back to the beach, Annie starts striping down to change. It seems odd, a place that requires you to be in dresses down to your knees in public has no qualms of striping stark naked on the beach.

Later that afternoon Ryan is still worried about his impending rabies death and decides to go to the hospital and ask for more information about the shot. Unfortunately, the doctor is not in as it is a Sunday and he was asked to come back on Monday. In a break between classes Ryan was accompanied by Sasha down to the hospital where we stumbled our way into a doctors office for a consultation. Theres no front desk, or person in uniform to ask. Around 50 people, many women with babies, sat waiting with papers in their hands outside the office. Someone led us to the very front. We realize a few minutes in that we cut in line- saving atleast 6 hours of wait time. We hope they were waiting for something else, they didn’t seem surprised or too dismayed when we walked by. The doctor seemed confused by the request leading Ryan to feel as though he was being rather ridiculous for worrying. Eventually he said he could give me a shot of TTV that would prevent rabies. In the research we had done we had not come across that treatment and asked him for more detail. He didn’t seem to have more information and excused himself to ask someone else. When he came back he said there was another shot I could get that was for post bite, but I would have to get 5 shots. I responded by asking him if those were at day 1, day 3, day 7, day 14 and day 28. He seemed surprised that I knew this and asked if I could repeat that so he could write them down. Between here and Australia I am getting good at writing my own prescriptions. With prescription in hand I went to go collect my shot and take it over to the nurse that would administer it. As we sat and waited Ryan tried not to think of his fear of needles especially ones in a rural hospital where 50 percent of the population has HIV. They pulled out a new needle and gave him the shot in the waiting room as others gathered around, seeing how the white man took a shot. Ryan looked away and didn’t flinch, a man that recognized us from the school congratulated him on being so stoic. One down 4 to go! The cost for this preventative medicine in the states often costs upwards of $3,000. Here in one of the poorest countries in the world it was free. America is pretty great, but we really got to figure out our medical system.

Time for new clothes and supplies

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Before we begin this story, we would like to let everyone know that the search for the ground coffee was successful, and we (even Ryan) is now sipping some very good local Chipunga coffee on the front porch. The sun is still low, there are some nice cool breezes drifting by, and life is good. I never thought I would comfortably wake up before 7am, but moments like this make it easy.

On Friday, we wore our matching outfits to school and get many smiles. You can really tell when someone likes something because you get that high-five handshake. We learned later that this is very much a thing, to dress conservatively all week and then on Friday, wear your vibrant African patterns. Sasha is stuck in a dress or skirt all the time, so she will wear them more often. She is beginning to like the long skirts, they are very nice for the heat and catch every breeze, although it makes walking over rocky and dirt covered ground carrying textbooks and lab supplies very difficult. If you fall, you are the talk of the school so there are high stakes. The other female teachers have beautiful handmade dresses they wear as well, although they often have a more closely fitting style so it seems less suited to the heat. There are students that grow up on the island that are able to wear a full suit jacket while we just sweat in our short sleeve shirts, and it is very stylish to wear a wool beanie which is just unthinkable. We gather gossip on which boat to take as well, deciding on the “Laman” that leaves early Saturday. A few teachers said it was fine on a calm day, a few swore never to take it again. Lets roll those dice!

Friday evening we walk down to the beach past ‘town’, and we pass our first Mzungu (foreign person, usually just referring to white person) and stop to chat. Her name is Lucy, she is from London, and they are living near the nice hotel on the island. We exchange phone numbers, and she tells us of other Mzungus and how they will often get together. She has been taking Chichewa lessons, and can still not make heads or tails of it. We also learned of the one band on the island, they have 7 songs that we will hear many times. She also invites us to a fundraiser they are doing that evening. Unfortunately, we have been looking forward to the famed Mango Drift (Hotel) pizza on the other side of the island and have to decline.

We go back to the Bishops house and pack for our hour long hike with waterbottles and flashlights and set out. We found a sketched map of the island on another hotels web page, and follow that trail, ignoring Google maps. We pass many villages, each one featuring a mob of children that want to shake our hand or fistbump. They are very cute and do slow us down, but we have a goal. Just past the village that had a large and noisy flour-milling machine, we take a left and see an older white couple bikes. “Ahh, Mango Drift must be close!” “yes, just half an hour more”. We follow bike tracks and are very impressed with their prowess, coming across a large rocky hill that they had to carry bikes down. We crest it, cheered on by the goats tied up along the path, and see our first view of the beach we guess is Mango Drift. The sun sky is beginning to turn a beautiful pink, and we charge on across a very skinny path. We almost missed a rock painted with an arrow to Mango Drift, and walked down to a lovely beach bar. People are playing volleyball, a couple is modeling on the beach, and some men drinking beer tell us pizza is only for lunch, and dinner is only at 7. It is beef stew, and we must tell them by 3PM which we have missed by 2 hours. We nervously asked if there was any food at all available, and they put our name down for dinner. We start talking to Jacob, an orchestra conductor from New Jersey. He was fired 15 months ago with $15,000 in savings, and has been traveling the world ever since. He started in China, and met a middle aged man doing the same, and now they are biking through Africa together. We traded tips on booking cheap flights, and he told us about Andrew. We had heard rumor of Andrew before, he is a millionaire that lives on Likoma island. Some people say he is harmful to Malawi, some people say he is fantastic, and most people say he is crazy. When asked for a description people just say “ah, you will know Andrew when you see him”.

Jacob told us to ask to see his ball, and refused to give more information. He also passed on some plastic flowers and shorts that an innkeeper had given him that Andrew had left at an inn on the mainland. His mystery continues. We met another middle-aged man who was an election consultant, and flew from the UK to different African countries to advise on a safe election process. It is a lot of fun getting to know all of these people they have all led such interesting lives. In any topic you bring up, someone has a story of how it is different in a remote country you have not heard of, or a dangerous country that you have. If you have made it to Likoma you have probably traveled just about everything else first. We hired a car with Jacob that turned out to be the ambulance back to the bishops house. As we bumped along Jacob told us that once the year is done, we must stay traveling in Africa as there is so much to see and most places are very difficult to get to. The ride was a whopping 7000 MWK ($12) Cheap by ambulance ride standards, but crazy expensive by Likoma prices. It cost the same to ride to the boat, ride the boat all day, and hire a shared taxi to Mzuzu. It was a nice evening and a welcome break from the bishops quiet house and our early bedtimes.

The next morning we cleaned the house, packed our bags and headed to the ferry dock (more of a general area on the beach where you wait for the ferry) it was supposed to leave by 9 AM and we were able to take a smaller boat and climb on board by 8:30. At around 8:45 we received a very helpful text from a friend on the island reminding us to bring enough food and water for the whole day. We did a quick calculation and decided our one small water bottle probably wasn’t going to cut it. Ryan ran back while Sasha tried to save a spot and watch the things. He unlocked the front door, unlocked the bedroom door, turned on the light, grabbed a few goodies and handfuls of granola bars (A very valuable commodity here, we have seen none for sale), locked the bedroom door, locked the front door, unlocked the front door, unlocked the bedroom door, turned off the light, locked the bedroom door, locked the front door, and ran all the way back in 25 minutes. Sasha was less successful in saving a spot, a family had sat down next to her and children just kept coming. People started sitting on the floor, and within a few minutes we slowly set off just a few minutes behind schedule. Men were jumping in rowboats and chasing us down, rowing as hard as they could. We stopped to wait a little ways off the island. We kept waiting for the boat to speed up, but nope that was the speed. A little over an hour went by and we stopped at the next door island, Chizimulu. More people got on, including men selling drinks and a woman selling homemade donut-like things. Our coworker makes them as well, it is only flour, milk, yeast, egg, a little sugar maybe, and then boiled and fried. We shared one for 50MWK ($.069), and it was so good we had to buy another. We planned to save it for later and ended up eating it before we left the bay. Finally we were properly underway, before we stopped at the other side of Chizimulu. The head teacher for a school there got on, and sat next to us telling us the wonders of the school on Chizimulu and that we should leave LIkoma to come work for him. It sounds like a true struggle to keep staff at either of the islands, as the educated who can leave do, and it’s a long way from the mainland. Very slowly the island faded from sight, and all we could see was endless blue. We got our blanket to put our heads on and tried to sleep. An 8 hour ride in the sun later we arrived in Nkhata bay. We jumped onto the dock and a man with a rasta beanie offered us a ride to Mzuzu for 2000MWK. We bargained him to 1500 each, and then sat in his car while he hunted for a full taxi. It is a narrow road out of the boat dock, and a small market with all sizes of fish, and many tomatoes had popped up on either side. Parked cars lined one side, and a semi truck tried to come down the other side. Our taxi driver just pushed the mirrors in, and it came within inches. Soon we had one person a seat and we headed off. There was a separate driver, and the rasta hat man sat next to Sasha in the back. He kept shouting out the window we were going to Mzuzu and we prayed no one else was.

No such luck. A man around 7 ft tall became the third person in the two-seater very back, and a fourth joined Sasha in the center. The rasta hat man left and we started speeding to Mzuzu. Someone got out in a small town a few miles out, but another car pulled over and a large couple got out. We were back to four in the middle, Sasha with her face against the glass, and Ryan now with our plastic bin shoved in his face and a man between him and the driver. We pulled over for gas, and a cross eyed girl held her hand out asking for money. Everyone shook their heads and she came around to Sasha side. She pointed at the lollipop the man next to her clutched with his phone. He handed it over and she left without a word. The sun started setting, and we drove another hour. He let us out at the Mzuzu gas station. We headed for the legendary Joys Place, a hostel run by a Korean woman and her American husband. After walking down an unlit dirt road, we come to a gate painted with a large flower and “Joys Place”, we hear merriment inside and try knocking. We peer through and see people laughing and talking inside. We knock and shout, then begin to brainstorm some solutions. A girl with a colorful mickey mouse outfit emerges from the dark, reaches between the gates, and unlocks it. She welcomes us in and walks us to the bar. It turns out the inn is full, they are both hosting a Japanese festival and an event for Peace Corps where volunteers a year in guide volunteers 3 months into training around Mzuzu. Our mickey mouse outfit texts a nearby innkeeper, telling us it is closed but she is staying there so maybe? The American offered a spot to set up our tent and called the same innkeeper who did not pick up but who always picks up for him, and then we walked over to the inn just to make really sure. It was a 5 minute walk but in the dark with dogs running around. We knock on the gate with the blue “U” and the “closed” sign just past the church as directed, and hear barking. We wait a few minutes and as we reach out to knock again the door swings in and a man with cataracts around. We ask for a room and he shuffles away to find the innkeeper. Soon a large white man appears, and expertly catches a dog that tried to lunge out. He welcomes us, introduces himself as Andrae, and says its 20,000MWK for the room. We put our things down and have our first warm shower since arriving in Likoma 2 weeks ago and prepare to find dinner. The doorman had a big grin when we approached this time, gave us fistbumps with hands hidden in socks, and confirmed he was there all night. We set out for Joys again, this time knowing how to let ourselves in. We inhale a delicious General Joys Chicken and a black noodle both full of vegetables and spices that taste like home. Admittedly, anything that didn’t taste like beans, egg, or tomato would taste like home.

We chatted with an African man who said many people think he looks African American, and a newbie half- Guatamalan Peace Corps member called Simon who the African man keeps saying looks like a terrorist. Simon responds that he is a global citizen and would rather give in his American passport to obey laws of different lands and travel anywhere. After dinner and a cold cider, we were ready to head home and many of the guests were headed to “France”, the biggest club in town. We walked back, knocked, and although we waited patiently the doorman did not come. So we just opened the door and walked in. There he was on the other side, still with a big grin. We wrap the huge light pink mosquito net around the bed with thick pillows, and fall asleep right away.

The next morning we see our mickey mouse outfit girl, this morning with a tye dye dress, sitting at the bar and Andrae bustling around the kitchen. Her name was Lucy and she was a year into Peace Corps. He made us some proper Cappuccinos (our first non-instant coffee), I ask where the machine came from, it looks difficult to get. He explains that it really was not hard at all, it is just who you know. He just happened to have a good relationship with a guy in South Africa who put it on a truck for him, and three weeks later it was there. He offered some handsome muffins with berries picked that very morning, and a fat glass of heavy pulp orange juice. There we sit for the next few hours as he talks of his happy and independent life in Mzuzu. He controls everything about his block of land, and the large gate keeps the corrupt government, rude people, and anything else out. He shows off his $100 smartphone that can do absolutely anything and do it well, and then shows us to the back and his tough vending-machine sized orange juice squeezer. The elements that do the squeezing are solid metal and difficult to hold. He traded his android S7 for it. We learn about the people here, how wherever he walks he sees many good people and good friends, and anyone rude he can leave behind. Lucy told us about how the federal government came by and casually interviewed PC (Peace corps) members about smoking weed. The two who smoked every day stayed silent, and the seven that had tried it once at a party off-site 6 months ago were sent home. Locals think it makes you crazy, and that coffee as well will make you crazy. And unlike in the States, they have a place for you in an asylum where crazy people are never heard from again. His wife came in to listen. If someone does accept a coffee, they will put heaping spoonfuls of sugar. They would even be just as happy with a bit of water and a bucket of sugar. If you wear sunglasses you are hiding from god, so that makes you dishonest.

We hear more stories of Andrew, who was accused of taking children and selling their teeth. We joke that we have seen those teeth, nobody would want them there are too many cavities. He tells us there are many dentists around, but usually they just pull teeth if you have a toothache. His waitress who worked there less than a year had 4 less teeth when she quit.

We ask why the place is closed, and he explains that in his 5 years of being here, he spent the first bit selling this hotel as hard as he could, and it was busy all the time. He had worked and managed in many large hotels “In the Western World”. There may be 40 people for dinner, and he needed the staff to help. If a group of 10 drunkards came in, he had to help them. He broke even. Recently he has been “Closed” only hosting those he already knows. He is not even on google maps, we checked. In his past month of business this way, he has made more than he did of two years working very hard.

We ask for fabric recommendations, and his wife tells us where to go but beware the Mzungu price. It is always exactly double what the locals pay. If they ask anymore, just leave. Otherwise, haggle them down a little. But not too much, its true you are Mzungu and you have miles more money than anyone else. He often just pays the higher price. He’s got places to be, and that shopkeeper has all day to haggle. It is when gas and water companies do the same that there is trouble. He lays out the city for us- there are 3 round abouts to worry about and everything else is near one of those.

We get his whatsapp info, and continue on to Joys place (only 7000MWK each per night) we stash our bags and then head to the boarding school to meet the former Likoma students Enoch and Clement. An hours walk in the sun. It was not too hot for us now, Mzuzu is far higher than Likoma, but when we first left Australia we may not have made it. Once we leave the “city”, which just means away from the roundabouts, children begin waving and calling us Mzungu again. We walk up a long road, and ask a lady how to get to the boarding school. She points to a broken down blue fence, and we knock on it for awhile. We’ve knocked on more broken down ones and found doormen, this should be no different. Soon a neighbor comes and says “No one has used that door in years, you must go around” in the clearest accent yet. She gave us complicated directions, and seeing our blank looks, offers to walk us there. She shouts to her nearby mother, and we go on our way. She had just finished highschool and is now applying to many different scholarships. We tell her we have loved Malawi and she just asks why. She wants to get out badly. Her father has a friend who manages scholarships in the states, and she hopes she can go there, or to the UK, or really anywhere else but it is expensive. She opens a gate that looks far more used, and a young gate keeper is sitting in his hut watching. We tell him we are looking for students and he just shrugs. She continues with us past kids playing on the playground. Some boys walk by. She asks if they know Enoch and they run quickly back where they came. We see them emerging and we wish her luck on the scholarships. We sit with the boys in the shade and they tell us everything is going alright, and yes they are studying. They cannot leave this compound, not even for church, because someone escaped a few weeks ago. We show them photos of their classmates, and they tell us their friends. Of course, it is the 2 with the next highest grades in the class. His mother is in the hospital, and we offer to bring a note which he refuses. They did promise we could wear sunglasses on Likoma, and no one will think you are hiding from God.

We leave without ever talking to an adult, and headed straight for our Indian restaurant. We shamelessly ordered the pizza. Which, although sparse on toppings, was also delicious. We make it back to Joys, and collapse into our beds. Once we brave the common room, we talk with Steven from New Jersey who is here on a grant to work collecting data in the Lake while working on a novel. The novel is about 3 fish he and his father took care of, one from Lake Malawi, one from China, one from Vietnam. The grant lets him spend time in each. Simon from New Mexico (whose single mother is from Guatamala) is the last PC and laments of his nearby village that cost the same to get to as Likoma as a bus goes once every few days, and it goes 25km down a dirt road. No one we met this entire time had visited Likoma, but Simon did promise he wanted to. He is an environment volunteer, so if we need a garden he may be able to come out for a few days on the PC dime. We eat dinner as the sun sets, and the innkeeper (or rather, her husband) tells us of his research. He has been keeping track of the lake for the past 8 years. We ask how its doing, he shrugs and says it is fine. Could be better. The fact people always are throwing litter in the lake, and the beaches are covered in trash, has little affect on the waters health. There are corporations dumping toxins which is a larger issue. There is overfishing, but not in the same way as in the ocean. There are not enough fish to get some serious trawlers in, anything caught is by hardworking men in carved canoes. And luckily, the fish they are after are not the same that are of interest to limnologists. He runs internships to spread the word about Lake Malawi, which overall is still pristine.

We learned even more about the culture. If there is a funeral, no one will invite you but you must go, and bring your wallet. Simon advised 500 MWK (as PC told him), the innkeeper told him that was fine for a local but he was being a cheap Mzungu, and to splurge the 2000 MWK ($3). This is the replacement for Life insurance. Same for weddings, you bring money. It is a community welfare, to make sure everyone does alright.
As Simon and Sasha argued the finer points of a Queen Bees sting, a French couple arrived. They had spent the month travelling Malawi and Zambia, swearing we must go as well. We asked for their craziest stories so far. They had rented a camper with a tent up top, and were woken by an elephant eating leaves just feet away. It stayed for two hours, forcing her to pee out the window on the other side. They had hiked along the mountains near Livingstonia, and stayed in the school grounds of different villages.

Simon donated a few movies and many audiobooks, (a very hot commodity), and then we as well went to bed. The next day we set out for the bank, and pulled out an uncomfortable amount in their tiny bills. There are no ATMs on the island so we needed to stock up for the next few months. On the plus side we never thought we would be walking around with one million in our pockets at such a young age! We started to run out of space. Then went shopping, where we got around two thirds of our list and many goodies. Our cards did not work so we had to pay cash, then pull out more money. We lugged it all back to Joys and organized while she called us a taxi. A private one this time. He picked us up and we were comfortably on our way.

The Illala was not at the dock when we arrived so we found a local restaurant and ordered some food and drink to pass the time. Sasha asked where to buy zippers, and the waiter was quick to offer to buy it for us if we gave him the kwacha, but she just asked for directions. She picked her way through the venders selling millions of tiny fish, used headphones, and tomatoes. They were far cheaper than the prices at the grocery store and seemed about the same quality. She bought some zippers, then wove her way through piles of clothing on the ground which is how people here buy clothes. The boat finally arrived. We got on at around 3 and left the dock at around midnight. We passed the time asking the employees when they thought we were going to leave (always an hour from the current time) and chatting with other passengers. We met a woman from France, Ju lie, who had been teaching for several weeks in an extremely remote part of the country and was taking a scenic route home. We didn’t have the luxury of a cabin this time and slept on the deck of the boat in first class. Sasha slept upright in a chair wrapped in the warm blanket we brought, Ryan and Ju Lie in the fabrics we bought in Mzuzu on the ground. The wind was up and although it was less crowded than before, we still had to wait to file into the boats to take us ashore. We made it back to Likoma the next morning just in time to miss most of our classes for the day.

Time for Chemistry Class. We write our own lesson plans with a syllabus and two textbooks for Chemistry, and for English, Math, and Life skills Ryan has textbooks and one syllabus. English is an extra stressful case because as long as students pass 6 classes they can pass to the next grade, but one of the classes they pass must be English. Ryan sits in the room with the other STEM teachers, and Sasha sits with the Humanities teachers despite only having Chemistry. There are two other women in her office of four people however and it has been very interesting to get to meet women who can and will speak English instead of just the men like we have met so far. She is covering different tests for anions and cations, which involves some somewhat dangerous chemicals like undiluted hydrochloric acid and a Bunsen burner. Justice (the other Chem teacher) and Sasha went to the teachers lounge where all the chemicals are kept, put on some gloves and a mask, and set out ensuring the chemicals we did have would work as expected as they were quite old. We have maybe a quarter of what the textbook asks for, but we muddled out some representative tests. Other teachers would come in for water and watch us try to find a chemical that burned another color for awhile before laughing and leaving. When done we cleared off the supplies, he promised to toss the chemicals out in a safe way -which likely means behind the school- and wiped off the tables with our used gloves. No paper towels anywhere. Later that day, a school lunch was served on that table.
Each Wednesday, a school lunch is served organized by our predecessor, Joanna. The teachers came by the lounge (yes the one with highly unhealthy chemicals) and helped themselves to Nsima, chicken, and cabbage. The Nsima (pronounced just Sima) is flour and water made into thick patties. Sasha watched other teachers easily pick up the Nsima from a large pile, then tried to grab the edge of one and burned her fingers. It was extremely hot, leaving her fingers very pink for a few hours. The History teacher laughed and just grabbed it for her. We sat at Ryans desk then realized we had forgotten the forks. Then noticed nope, we are using our fingers. The grab with one hand, then roll in a ball and dip into the sauce. They noticed us watching and showed us in slow motion the simple steps. Ryan grabbed and rolled it with two hands to much laughter. He tried rolling it another way with both hands “One hand! No, one hand!” finally we got it and started eating like pros. This is how you are welcomed in Malawi, someone serves you nsima. The principal came in and told us not to eat too much, it will expand in our stomachs and they will have to roll us to the hospital.
The social studies teacher, Ben, asked Sasha about polygamy in the states. She said it is very rare, and was surprised at his surprise. He showed her the textbook they were covering of Western culture. In the first introductory page it says “When a man wants to take another woman, he is encouraged to divorce the first one and remarry.” He says that is very unfortunate for the first wife, in Malawi if you want another wife you just take another one. Upon further questioning we learn the difference is that in the States, a woman gets half of the stuff, whereas in Malawi the man always gets everything.

Sasha taught her Chemistry class with the exciting flames. She wrote the equation up on the board and tried to read through it. We keep coming across the problem of not knowing if a question is insultingly simple, or way over a students head as they give the same blank look either way. They made it through the formula, so Sasha lit a match in one go (yay!) and lit the very temperamental gas stove that was acting as a Bunsen burner. After putting the gloves on she moved to turn it up, then accidentally turned it off. She had to light it again, this time it took 4 match strokes. The stove gives off a somewhat orange flame, which made the vibrant orange flame burning K+ gives somewhat less exciting, though the students were still interested. At the end of class, she took a photo of each student and had them write their name down to learn names as Ryan had done. They were very excited for photos, and each had a pose. There were many requests for group photos and selfies at the end. When it came to pack up, the students stay seated at their desk until the teacher leaves the classroom. Even when dismissed they will just sit and watch you clean up. When leaving many do hop up to offer “Madame! Would you like help? Let me carry this” which is very helpful, although I do not like “Madame”. In one of Ryan’s classes after an in class assignment one of the students, upon realizing that she would have to turn in what she wrote, promptly ate her work and simply said she didn’t have it when I came around to collect. That is shyness on another level.

The language is very difficult. We like to have it written down, but there are many silent letters. Each part of a word means something different as well. For example, the greeting “Mwadzuka Bwanji” is the greeting “how are you” that you may use only in the morning. So it is more like “How did you wake?” with “Bwanji” being loosely translated to “How”. Adding “Bwanji” makes it into a question, and it means different things in other scenarios. The “Mwa” means “you” and “adzuka” is woken up. The response “Ndadzuka Bwino, Kaya inu?” “I have woken well, and you”. Sasha figured this out after comparing this and the evening “Mwaswela Bwanji”, which will be a very tedious way to learn the language. Everyone is very excited to teach us but the sounds are unfamiliar and we cannot simply memorize so many words, we need the break down like above. There is almost nothing online to help, only guides to phrases and people have difficulty explaining the break up of words. Luckily, the Chichewa teacher came yesterday and she was able to confirm the above.

After class our visitors were two girls around 7, with a baby tied to ones back. They always begin by yelling “Hello” around the corner and before we can see them so we have time to eat any biscuits we have out. We must yell hello back, and this goes back and forth a few times before they peep around the corner. We complimented each others necklaces and looked through binoculars until the girl with the baby jumped shocked with water dripping between her legs. Turns out the baby had gone to sleep and peed, and we all had a laugh with many high fives. This seems the way to show something was quite funny, you high five or in other ways touch hands. She peeled him off her back, and the other girl tied him on hers. Then continued on, the pee drying in her skirt, to throw rocks at the green mangoes. We hope they do not take too many, we want some ripe ones by November. They appeared again with a large squished peanut- looking fruit. “Kulapa” or something. They peeled one open and gave it to Sasha. It tasted not unpleasantly like a sour date with a huge seed. We picked up our new outfits today, we walked through town and people are still not used to us. Each kid will still wave “Helloooo!” “Bye!” every time we pass. We made it to the tailors which is one room, smaller than some dining tables we have seen. There are three walls with the fourth open to the street, and inside is magazine photos of people in colorful dresses, pants, and shirts as well as piles of completed fabric and one very old mechanical sewing machine. There was already around 5 women inside and the man at the sewing machine. We followed our neighbor inside and the temperature went up around 10 degrees. We tried on our new outfits, Ryan’s fit perfectly but the zipper would not go up all the way on Sasha’s. He took the skirt and spent around 5 minutes adjusting it, while a woman breastfed her very active child who would also get up and hand us scraps and fabrics and rocks from the dirt floor. We paid our 4500 MWK (around $7) total and flaunted our new outfits all the way back.

We skipped our walk this morning to prepare for the day ahead. The water was off this morning, so Sasha took a page out of the Vanuatu play book and went for a quick bucket shower. Ryan slapped some deodorant on and called it good. Since it was a special occasion we broke into the cereal and non dairy milk to fortify us for the day. We got dressed up and Ryan was thankful that his muscle memory didn’t fail him in remembering how to tie a tie. Sasha wore her beautiful flower dress that was a thrift shop find (Thanks My!), though she did take out the impressive shoulderpads. Precious and his Big sister stopped by for photos of their first day, Precious posing with the binoculars.

We walked up the hill to the school and joined the other teachers in the office so we could all walk down to the assembly together. The students saw us coming and gathered in rows by grade expectantly. Jolly (the head teacher), addressed the assembled students, around 75 of them, with a prayer and words of welcome. He then took a rather hard turn in his speech and very bluntly told everyone that they had done quite poorly last year and they should all try harder. He explained that he had posted everyone’s grades for the whole community to see so that they would be more motivated this year. I guess when 85% of you class fails you have to take some drastic measures. Jolly then introduced the new teachers including us. He warned that we spoke only English so everyone must be disciplined and be able to answer our questions without blank stares. We gave a short speech and received a round of applause, though I suspect it was not fully because of the content of our introduction. Jolly said he could tell who could and could not understand what we said based on who kept trying to clap early. He called for a form 4 (grade 12) to lead us in the national anthem, and then the students were dismissed to class and the teachers all went back to their offices.

After a few minutes several teachers did go down the hill to teach. Ryan was invited to watch a form 4 math class to start the day. On the walk down he informed Ryan that he would not only be teaching English, but also Math and Life Skills. The first day of class was spent reviewing the final from the year before. The teacher worked through each problem on the board. Ryan followed along, to make sure he still remembered what he had learned and was surprised when the teacher tried to take the square root of negative 36 by just moving the negative sign outside of the root. Not to get too into the weeds, but you can’t do that! Ryan held his tongue during the class but asked him politely about it after we were back in the office. He admitted that he wasn’t sure if it was right and that the answer really didn’t make sense, but he said that in Malawi they did some things differently. It was a little disconcerting and it will be interesting to see what other misconceptions we run into while teaching.

Ryan was then taken to an English class. We had both been expressly told that they weren’t sure what classes we would be teaching and that we didn’t need to prepare for the first day. So we were both a little surprised when we were led to our separate classes, introduced and then the teacher left. Sasha had around half an hour to prepare the first form 3 (year 11) Chemistry class after being told she was doing form 1 and 2. The form 3s know English better than form 1s so it may be a good change. According to the textbook, the first week should be spent learning about the lab and what to do with dangerous material. We have no lab yet and nothing very dangerous so it was difficult to make a lesson out of it with so little time. The next section was about the scientific method and had to be prepared well so we couldn’t just go on. The teacher came in and handed out last years exams (of which most people did very poorly) and left. After asking them to raise their hands if they understood English and only 3 students raising hands, she was a bit nervous. She plowed ahead and they gathered in groups to discuss the only doable activity in either of the textbooks. After chatting for a bit a student waved her over “Excuse me we don’t understand, can you ask it better?”. The activity itself was quite confusing, so no not really. After running through what we were looking for, and a summary of the long lists of dangerous waste, there was still 20 minutes so we pulled out the old tests to read and see if we can understand old problems. Only around 5 students pulled out the test, the rest she asked said they were new. So they buddied up and tried to pretended to figure out what they did wrong. Sasha picked one up to try to help but where do you begin when every question is incorrect? So with the remaining time students said their name and a fun fact proving that most could speak some English. Meanwhile in Ryan’s class, he made an attempt to learn a few names, establish how much English people spoke (a little) and ask a few questions that were almost exclusively met with blank stares and a few murmured responses.

We regrouped for a lunch of rice and beans and then headed back to the school. Ryan attempted to find the Life Skills teacher (Moses) to get ready for his class later in the afternoon. Or at least find out if he would be the one teaching it. Apparently, Moses was at a funeral for the afternoon. Ryan set to work on his lesson plan for the class and had just finished when it was announced that the school was going to close for the day because there was no water and the students were thirsty. Looks like the lesson plan would have to wait till Thursday.

With no more school to worry about we went shopping for the weeks groceries. We managed to get a whole grocery bag full of veggies for 1,850 KWA (around 2 dollars). The next stop was new clothes. We purchased 4 yards of fabric ($8) and found a seamstress hut. We gave her the cloth and will post pictures of our new shirt for Ryan and skirt for Sasha this weekend ($4).

The rest of the day was devoted to lesson planning and the unending stream of visiting children. Confidence and Comfort came by, saying binoculars and Precious. After having our neighbor come by to confirm, it turns out Precious had left with the binoculars that morning and was showing them off at school saying we had given them to him. We listened to music on the refreshingly windy porch with the two boys, who successfully proved they could count to 100 and sing the ABCs. Their version is far better, the tune after “p” is different and after Z they yell “ZEBRA!”. They are getting quite good at thumb wars so we tried moving on to Rock Paper Scissors, but in reality that is a very confusing game.
Once they left Sasha was working on Chromatography, and so had a small collection of pens out. The older sister of Precious came by with a very little one, who was content watching Ryan type for a long time. The sister was looking at the different pens, and asked to have one. After being told no, we looked at some photos she had taken of herself earlier and when they left, we were missing a pen. It was the most basic pen, though we still have a very small number and it will be missed.

We went on an early morning walk, planning to walk to the very north of the island: it’s small how hard can it be? After walking for about 40 min, we had made it almost halfway to the Southern tip of the island, and then turned back because of the beating sun at around 7:30AM. We are not adjusting too well to the heat, and largely cope by doing very little, but managed to reorganize the room a little more and got started on our coding practice. There is a lot to get used to living in the Bishops house, probably the largest is that we talk to the neighbors. People will also just stop by without letting us know beforehand. This would have really annoyed us back home, but here it is an exciting relief from boredom. Children are our most frequent visitors, and they are quite polite. (Some are leafing through our textbooks and vying for our attention as we write this) We will be sitting at the table and they just come and put their noses against the window until someone comes out to say hello. Precious is our most frequent one, he came by with warm potato samosas that he sold us for 50 MWK (about 7 cents) and his brother Confidence and sometimes the best friend of Confidence, Comfort. Their English is not very good, but they are very good at asking for money and biscuits. Confi in particular loves the binoculars. He looked through them for almost an hour at the trees and towards the cathedral, then Sasha showed he could turn them around and make everything small. Later, we realized we had never shown him how to focus but he seemed to enjoy it all the same. Precious always asks to have them.

Ryan caught a very interesting and skinny wasp in a cup and Sasha was sketching it. A Black and White Mud Dauber, very unaggressive but with a long and cruel needle-like waist. The boys came by and watched, so Sasha sketched them as well. There is a photo of them if we manage to upload it! Sasha wrote a message on the back and rolled it up for them to keep, and they did seem excited although in the end, they did leave them behind. They did a sketch of Sasha as well, and while there are some similarities it was not flattering.

We went to meet with all the teachers to see what we should teach, and met with the Chemistry & Physics teacher, and the English lit & grammar teacher. So far, Sasha is taking a Chem class, and Ryan may be doing English. We will know tomorrow (maybe) when the rest of the teachers arrive from the mainland on the ferry. Perhaps some will not come, and perhaps some will be in greater need of help as we can barely remember what an adverb is. They talked a little of the difficulties of teaching here as well, but we didn’t realize the extent until we wandered outside where all the grades were posted “Ahh that’s a lot of 9s, that’s good!” No… 9 is the lowest” Most students had failed overall, though had done alright in a few classes. We saw 2 rows of ones and twos and were excited, but realized those were the students that had transferred to a different school and we had just met in Mzuzu.

That evening a mob of some older girls with small children came by. Sasha traded clapping games with them, practiced whistling, and they showed her how they can pinch their nose and keep their nostrils shut. The older ones worked on writing a letter. A priest, Moses, came by to welcome us. He was a teacher as well (Bible Knowledge and Life Skills) and told us more about the church, like how we should go to the Chichewa service Sunday (instead of English on Saturday) as they had a translated book so we could follow along. The girls finished the letter and handed it over to Sasha, though it was in Chichewa. Sasha passed it on to Moses who could translate the first line “Beloved Sasha”, “We beg…” before trailing off to tell them they all could write English and to try again. They sat and giggled while he told them about how he felt they did not learn anything when they wrote like this! We looked up the words and could only figure one out- “Backpack”. It is understandable yet disappointing when everyone asks us to buy things for them, and sad as they probably do need it.

The next day, we got up even earlier for our walk and packed a water bottle. We managed to follow the road until it ended, and then we may have trespassed to get to the beach. It is more difficult to trespass here than at home because usually the people that own the property are actually on the premises and very likely watching you. It is also easier because we can assume no one has a gun, there are no fences, and people trespass on our property all the time. The entire walk we nodded at people and sometimes said good morning, but without fail if a kid sees us they will yell hello and wave until we respond. The beach had sticks and shelves to dry fish on, and men were repairing a boat. We made it back to learn that we were also paying our neighbors to clean our house. This apparently included our bedroom and we both felt a little ashamed at the mess we had left when we came back to find her taking off our sheets and folding things we had left strewn around.

We meet the teachers again in the afternoon, this time the Chemistry teacher Justice showed Sasha the schedule he has lain out for the term and the country requirements for each year. He is a brand-new teacher as well, so they were able to talk awhile about different points they will cover while the English teacher hands Ryan a syllabus and they sit in silence. The Chemistry curriculum starts off with two weeks of lab safety which is great, except they have no lab yet.

On Sunday, we walk to the airport in 40 minutes. We walk by the man we met on the ferry who quickly opens his shop “It is free to look! Free to look!”. The airport is one long runway, with a small office next door. We made our way home and got ready for Church which starts promptly at 8. We were finishing up getting ready when Moses came by to check on us. Resplendent in white robes, he showed us to some seats. The seats were largely empty in this large cathedral, with just a few nuns, a woman breastfeeding, and others scattered throughout. The priests filed in (the one time perhaps that there are more priests than people) and began chanting and lighting candles. Around 8:30 a lot more people began to trickle in, including a man that came and sat next to us and said hello. Around this time we realize women all sit on the left, men all sit on the right and we had both sat on the right. Someone else comes to brought the thin translated book, published 1981. It did not help too much with us keeping up with service, though when Sasha went to service before she didn’t understand too much either. She remembers church dragging on for forever (around an hour), but at least there were good biscuits at the end and the adults would chat- which is what she had expected here. It was very different, there are at least 4 different choirs, including one that sits high in the back which causes some very impressive sound throughout the service. We waited through hour one expecting communion to start any moment. Half an hour later someone tapped us on the shoulder “Is this your first time here? They want you to speak. Go up now” “What? Are you sure?” “Yes go up the side here” so we walk about a mile up the side (It is a very large cathedral) and the microphone is handed over. Each seat is taken by now, there are almost 300 people watching. “Hello yes this is Ryan, we are from Seattle, and we are staying at the Bishops house” ”Hello, Sasha from Seattle too, we are teaching at the school so we see some of you Monday”. There’s some scattered applause and we sit down, confident communion will begin soon. One hour later, a man reads a long list of prices for different things and then a nun points at different rows to go up. People march up to a choir’s music, we think the youth choir, that dances while they sing. We go up as well and are confronted with about 10 different blue bins and baskets with Chichewa words on them, we end up putting money in the biggest basket, and rushing back. It is really beginning to be hot now, but we can watch a little circle of light (from a small hole in the roof) travel up the aisle while we wait another hour before getting communion. It ends around noon and we stagger back to our house about a 2 minute walk away, and chug some water. The service was beautiful, our favorite part was all the colorful outfits the women wore and the fantastic choirs. It was just a little longer than we were prepared for and it was conducted fully in Chichewa.

After we had recovered some, Sasha began on a large periodic table of elements for the class, when a mob of the older girls and some smaller kids came by. She must finish, so continues working as they watch. She starts to whistle, which they copy, and hum the tune of Indiana Jones which they hum to as well. Then Camp Songs which they can hum too. Ryan comes out and we sing “Bumble Bee” together to lots of laughter. Then they produce another letter, this time in English. It is perhaps asking for a backpack, but mainly asking for Sasha to text the grandmother of Doreen (The oldest girl) so they can talk. They start asking for photos, so Sasha  took a few and tried showing them as many fingers swiped each way. The older ones again started braiding Sasha’s hair, one exclaimed “ehww!” and rubbed her finger in her scalp. Yes there will be dandruff if there is no water for a few days! Some little ones climbed on her lap, and then Patrick was walking up the road. She summoned Ryan and he explained how Edith would be cleaning for us now, and asked if everything was going well. Then he invited us to a sort of bride and groom give away celebration. They will be wed in October but are having the celebration now. We soon understood why. We watched from the outside as 5 woman in the same subtly psychedelic dresses and their partners began dancing their way in. The group is known as the “Dancing Queens” and they earned that title, although no ABBA was played. The room was full of rows of colorfully dressed people, with a small stage. Someone with a microphone made an announcement and then people would dance to the center, then throw money in a basket. Someone began handing out apples “If you get an apple, it means you must dance up and pay 2,000 MWK!” we both receive an apple, and self-consciously tried to dance up to the front. We once had to leave a country dancing lesson at a fair in Seattle because Old People were running us over, this had us even more outmatched. It turns out as well that you do not need to know the same language to very successfully make fun of someone else’s dancing.
We sit back down, and the rounds continue, people dancing up and giving more money. The goal was 2 million MWK to go towards the wedding. Patrick informed us that weddings are very profitable.
we go back, and children are waiting for us again. This time one had brought an older brother of perhaps 15, the oldest one we have seen on the porch. He was very quiet and would not respond to questions, but did sometimes laugh at something I said in English. He patiently waited his turn for the binoculars, and when he did look through them I wanted to show him how to maneuver the focus, and noticed his hands were entirely covered in small warts, with a few large bumps going up his neck. There are so many conditions here that you only sometimes hear about in the states.

The sun sets and we can hear the very annoying beeping sound again. Tonight, we decided to get to the bottom of it. With our trusty cat in tow we set out and locate several trees that the sound seems to be coming from. Probably some bug or animal. Not a very satisfying answer, but at least now we know its not something in the house. It did bring us outside to appreciate a beautiful red full moon.

We woke up at Maroke village and had another lazy morning preparing for the chaos ahead.

We ventured around the Nkhata bay village, and purchased a few blankets. The people were very honest and laughed at many things we do. The currency is a little silly, the largest bill that ATMs give out is 2,000 Kwacha note which is worth less than $3. It was kind of fun to get such large stacks of dollar bills. They do have larger bills. The largest being a trillion dollar note!

Some people at the restaurant who were doing Work Away teaching summer school for the month gave Sasha the keys to their little library cupboard. Alas, no insect books but there was one battered book on the fish in the lake. If you have googled Malawi, you may have seen that it has the most diverse population of Chichlids, a freshwater fish, in the world. People love to study them because of the very diverse adaptive radiation they show that make Darwin’s Finches look like simple child’s play. Many small bays of the lake are split by deep water that isolates the species of fish and they diverge into new species quickly. The most amusing part is their reproductive dance. The males that are usually drab get very colorful, and make a nest shaped like a sand volcano. They shimmy towards a lady fish, making sure to show their sides where their colors are most apparent. They head back to the nest and hope the lady fish follows. If she does, she lays her eggs and then scoops them up in her mouth, before nuzzling his anal fin. He fertilizes them and they grow and hatch in her mouth. As they slowly get larger she can open her mouth and let them all go out to eat nearby plankton. At signs of danger she opens her mouth again and they all hide. As they grow, there is not always room so some are left behind, and if she is nearby other chichlids the babies are easily mixed up. They have found up to four fish from different broods in one mouth!

The next day we started our morning by taking the kayaks out and paddling our way to the Illala boat dock where we were disappointed to find that it had not arrived overnight. We sat having lunch at our hotel and around 3 watched a large boat come by, and it was time to start heading down. We lugged our bags up the beautiful yet annoyingly uneven and wandering stairs with the help of David from the hotel and took a taxi to the boat dock. Ryan, David and the taxi driver all left with the first round of bags on their heads to start loading the boat. Sasha stayed behind to watch the rest of the bags. (2 suitcases, 2 backpackes, 2 duffel bags, 2 bins of food, a cooler. toilet paper and several jugs of water.) While she was waiting a man came up to Sasha from behind shouting “My brother! My brother!”- as she turned he realized his mistake and quickly changed to  – “My Sister! How are you?”. Thanks for those new pants, mom.

People were everywhere and transporting everything you could think of on this boat. And they were in a hurry to do it! People want on that boat and they want on now. We elbowed our way to the top, and sit on our little castle of stuff. While Sasha was watching the side wondering how they were going to load those large wooden chairs, a young man called John who had one eye clouded over came to sit next to Ryan and chat, and it wasn’t very long before he asked for money to pay his school fees. After Ryan said no, John continued to sit very close. We arrived around 4, the boat wasn’t set to leave until 8. The hospital administrator we met the day before, Francis, arrived around 6. He saw us sitting up top and was confident he could get us one of the fully booked cabins. We told him it wasn’t possible and we were fine here on top, and he disappeared for an hour or so. “You should smile! They held a cabin for you!” he showed us to the owners cabin, the only one with a shower (one of two on board) and a bathroom (one of 3 alleged bathrooms). It turns out perhaps they took pity on our sweaty selves the day before when we went to check our reservation and held it without our names, or perhaps our reservation from months before really did make it onto the books.

With our stuff tucked away, we went back on top of the boat new and more relaxed people. We saw a group from Mayoke village, who we had warned earlier of the lack of cabins. They were a research group from Austria going to school in Zambia, trying to see if the money and aid they had been sending was making a difference. He said it was difficult to tell in interviews, as everyone will say yes of course the money is good. They had bought some mats to sleep on, and we offered use of our bathroom if need be.

The boat set off an hour early (or technically, 23 hours late), which is unprecedented based on our experience so far of the place. We watched the sun set over Nkhata bay, and then watched the lights slowly disappear. Emphasis on slowly, this is a very old boat. A man with a thick gold necklace approached and told us he could get us a motorcycle to Mango Drift (A backpackers hotel) once on Likoma. We told him we were set, but asked about the Chichewa on the island. Turns out it is a good thing we didn’t try too hard to learn it before hand, as on Likoma there is a mix of Chichewa, Tonga, and at least one other unnamed Mozambiquian language. He was right, we had spent our time up until them perfecting our “Mouya Bwanji” (How are you) and whenever we use it on the island people just laugh and shake their heads. We went to the cabin to sleep, and then woke to the bells at 2am. We try to look outside, though the pathway infront of our door is lined with sleeping people taking advantage of the open corridor. Opening the door over a quarter of the way brings it over a sleeping childs head. Francis opened his door a little as well and told us to wait, he would come get us. We sat attentively, then half an hour later started watching our last few episodes of downloaded Brooklyn 99. Around 4am someone jingles the handle. We open quickly excited to get underway on the final bit of our journey, but it is a guard asking for more money as we have a cabin. For a total of $40, it wasn’t too bad! Soon afterwards Francis really did knock, and we guiltily misplace the sleeping people on our many trips out. Men lowered our things out the side to a waiting rowboat tied to the ferry. Francis explains that sometimes the water is too wild, and the rowboats cannot be tied. When this happens, he must jump for it. People waiting to unload more things must wait for the water to die down.

They lower our bins of food using rope, and we were quite impressed with the patience they showed. Eventually our things are loaded, along with some heavy looking bags on top from others, and then it is time for us to load. We were afraid we would be asked to shimmy down the windows from the second floor were our things were loaded, but fortunately they did have a passenger loading section a level down. We clambered in and the sun began to rise. People kept coming, and finally we took off. In a circle. To the other side of the boat. Another 20 minutes of people piling stuff in, and we were on our way to the Likoma dock which was very close. On the way a man holding a boy with a leg in full cast welcomed us. We swear he said his name was Banana, but perhaps we are misunderstood again. His shirt was a map of the island, and he was quite happy when we complimented it. But then the awkward “So are you married?” question came along. Ryan simply says “We are together”, and so we were asked again and Ryan gave the same response. “Ah so you are siblings!” to which everyone had a hearty laugh at.

Coming to Likoma feels like finally coming home from a long adventure, we almost forget that it is just the beginning. We climbed up the hard cement bags that make up the base of the dock. Sasha carried one of the bags in her hand “Woman no!” said Banana and piled it on the dock for us. A truck backed up and we loaded everyone’s things. We began to pile in the back with our things as Vanuatu had trained us, but they refused to let us and sent us to the front seat. Our driver Charlie explained there were just under 20 trucks in driving condition on the island, only a few of which you could hire. He drove for the nicer hotel on the island, and said we wouldn’t remember him. So heres to you Charlie, we wrote your name down so we just might remember.

We make a few stops, and then pull up in front of a large white house. “This is you!” we bring our things up, and Patrick (the one we booked this with) gave us a brief tour and introduced us to a few people around. We asked were to get eggs, and two disappeared with our 2,800MWK (4 USD). We were told we would stay in the mothers union, which includes a room and some shared freezer space at the discounted cost of $1000 for the year. Instead, we have the Bishops House. We have the house to ourselves (probably? It wasn’t really clear), other than the kitchen which is shared. Not that we will cook much, we will pay our neighbors to make meals for us. We were originally invited to stay here, though there is an awful termite problem and they were confident the ceiling would fall in. But Some American research group agreed to pay full price to stay in the mothers union, so here we are. Ryan thinks it is awhile from collapsing, there are no tears or discoloration on the ceiling paint. It is a nice house with an excellent view of the famous cathedral out the front door, and good high ceilings. It did need a good scrub and there were a few cockroaches that ran out of the fridge. They probably left for good right? We swept the floor and then the walls, dirt fell from the corners of the ceilings – likely from the termites. We scrubbed the bathroom as well, which was a little caked in dirt.

Our neighbors disappeared again with 4 eggs and a cup of oil, and when they arrived again with some fried eggs and a large thermos of hot water for our first breakfast. We made some instant coffee and sat outside to watch the birds hop around. Large bees entered holes in a wooden bar above us, though not our sought after blue bee.

A kid in blue shorts who we think called himself “Brecisbee” came by and waved. Soon after, three more children arrived. They sat with us occasionally talking, they seemed to be waiting for something. We couldn’t get out of them what language they spoke, so probably not Chichewa, but two would spout a few good English words once in awhile so we do not know how much is understood. After a little Sasha went inside to get what they probably wanted- entertainment. She grabbed this fantastic spray bottle that a good make-up artist friend had given her (Thank you Ashley! It is probably our single favorite thing we brought) and sprayed the children. They giggled tried to get it all over their hands and faces. After awhile, Sasha gave one the spray bottle. They of course fought over it so she grabbed it again, and then we practiced taking turns. Someone produced a small bag of popcorn, and one of the girls with a “Birthday Girl” shirt grabbed a bite that included a little of the blue plastic bag they were held in and, well she chewed the whole thing and swallowed, seeming confused about why we were pointing at her mouth. They started chasing each other, while Brecisbee admired Sasha’s watch. She took it off and put it on him and practiced telling time. They became distracted by something else and start to run away with Sasha’s watch “Ahh! Are you giving that back?” “Tomorrow” he says. “No come back here” and he sheepishly returns the watch.

A beautiful orange cat was our next visitor. Asking around we found out that it was Joanna’s cat when she was here and now it was our cat. She took an immediate liking to us and Ryan gave her a stern talking too concerning her role in mouse, cockroach and spider patrol. She is terrible at her job, but does not seem to set of Ryan’s allergies.

A little later it began to cool off, and so we ventured down to the water. Along the way we discovered the market and different shops selling a little bit of everything. We pass a handsome broom, and tell the man selling we will come back for it, do not sell it to anyone. He laughs and says he is there until 8. We wander to the beach and put our feet in. Kids come running up and looking expectantly at us. They were a very cute and active bunch, many of the girls were wearing very fancy and worn dresses falling down their shoulders which did not stop them from jumping and rolling over each other in the sand. We started giving fistbumps and the mob was very excited, they kept coming back for more. An older girl (perhaps 13?) carrying a very small boy came and placed him in front of us. Sasha offered a fistbump and he turned away confused, while the other kids laughed and made his hand into a fist. We started playing thumb wars, and to be honest they were quite bad. We won every time, but also they may not have understood the rules. The kids were just fascinated with our hands and would study them intently, turning them over and sliding their fingers between ours. Soon they started chanting “Picture! Picture!” We asked if they had phones we could take a photo with and they just laughed. Sasha pulled out her phone and they instantly mobbed up for a photo. We are trying to avoid being obnoxious tourists and taking photos of other people kids, but they were very excited and the beach was beautiful. Ryan took a few of everyone, and gave Sasha back the phone. They mobbed it trying to look at their images.

The older girls kept stroking Sasha’s hair, and then one asked to braid it. She sat down and got 2 very nice small braids, and some tangles from the smaller kids. Other kids kept rubbing the sand off her feet and trying to put fingers in between toes and seemed genuinely surprised at the startled reaction. Sasha pointed out her nice Birkenstock sandal tan line, and they tried to rub that off too. Meanwhile, Ryan was having a bit of a rough time. These kids have clearly seen many tourists, and it seems a few very strong men had come by. They were very excited when Ryan would pick one up by the arms, and then soon around 5 would grab each arm and the number was increasing as other kids heard laughter and appeared to also grab his arms. These kids kept coming out of the woodwork! They would fall off and almost hurt themselves, as Ryan started getting rug burns up his arms. “Time to go!” he said and tried to run away with kids clinging to his legs. We made it back to the market as dark was falling with a large group of children in tow that slowly dwindled as we got further away.

We bought the broom (The man had indeed saved it for us) and a few other supplies that the house was missing. We bought enough that the man gave us a free lolly! We splurged on a large thing of cordial. The Bishops house does have a French Press, so Sasha asked for coffee and he produced some instant coffee. The coffee quest continues, there must be some somewhere.

We went to bed around 8, and a mysterious beeping sound kept us up. We searched the whole place, and finally settled for ear plugs. We sweated our way to sleep, to be awoken by something large, warm and squishy on Ryan’s chest. After a few moments of panic as we searched for a light we were relieved to find that it was just one of the earplugs that had fallen out in the night. We awoke again to a sound coming from the closet that sounded like a mouse eating all our food. Ryan went in search of the cat, while Sasha prepared with the broom. We hit the cupboard and the sound stopped, but we could not find what it had been eating. Then woke again to a rooster crowing. It is a myth that they sound off only in the morning. In truth, they do all night as well. It was too hot to sleep anyway.

We spent our Thursday finishing up with our unpacking and we took another trip to the market. This time with guidance from a local. We purchased a bunch more groceries and a pair of Orange and Black Facebook flip flops.

In the afternoon we met with Jolly the head teacher at the school that we will be teaching at. He gave us a tour of the school grounds and told us a lot of history of the island while we walked around. The original school buildings were an old printing press built by the original British missionaries on the island over 100 years ago. There are also several new buildings including the library, computer lab and Science lab which is slated to be complete in October. The carpenters had never made a science lab before, so they are making it up as they go along. They made a room for gas to light Bunsen burners, but no one in all of Malawi knows how to wire it well enough. Other schools hire someone from South Africa to come do it, but that is quite expensive. When we got to the library we were loaded up with stacks and stacks of textbooks for English, Physics, Maths, Chemistry and Life Skills and told to start getting familiar with the material. We also talked with him about the students at the school. Many of the of the male students don’t show up for class because they know that they can skip class for the day and make 20,000MWK a day fishing. Unfortunately, this opportunity is not available to the female students. However, they are often lured our of the classroom by the newly rich boys who show them a good time. It is not uncommon for these girls to get pregnant and to stop showing up to school all together.

Once we dropped off our course load, we went on a tour of the Cathedral. It was very large, though one of the towers is currently being occupied by bats and is unusable. Jolly showed us all the nooks and crannies and told us the significance of each room. The Cathedral is 115 years old and was built here by British missionaries who wanted to claim the islands for the British empire and ward off the influence of the neighboring Portuguese-influenced Mozambique.

The water was turned off this morning for an unknown reason, but our neighbors say it will be back on by nighttime. The power has also been turned off for 24 hours for maintenance though it is hard to complain when we have this beautiful house, power and running water in the first place.

Our neighbors brought dinner that was rice, and the same eggs we couldn’t finish that we had for lunch. We tried to feed it to the cat, who only made it halfway through one. They are excellent cooks, and very patient with us but we have different expectations on leftovers. We got rid of the other egg and only small pieces of tomato and spinach left, which they returned to us in a Tupperware the next day.

_{Now we write this sitting on a picturesque lakeside bungalow while monkeys play in the trees and lizards the size of my forearm sunbathe nearby. The lake here really looks just like a calm ocean and is a beautiful tropical clear blue, it takes up most of the horizon.
Yesterday was a 5 hour taxi ride from Lilongwe to Mzuzu, where we had very good Indian food with two students and a man from Likoma island who all ordered the “Chips & Fish” from the menu. We did manage to get one of the boys to try our orange rice, though he refused to believe us that it was rice. These are the two star students that our predecessor organized to have sent to a private school on the mainland. We will try to keep up with them to see how they are doing, though they have no phone and forgot their email so we must go to the boarding school in person and track them down.
We then drove the last hour to Nkhata bay, where the ferry to Likoma will take off from. We have all of our luggage, plus 3 bins of food and big things of water and the path to our bungalow was very tiny, uneven and narrow steps. While Ryan checked in, someone came up to me in the parking lot to sell carved wooden games. “I know why white people come here, to help us. Help me by buying this so I can feed my family.” He knows our type. I told him to not assume we have money from the color of our skin, and so he offered me a bargain. Someone from the hotel came to help carry our bags, and he stood waiting for our salesman to finish talking. When I finally interrupted to say “no Thankyou” he politely left, which is more than you can say for most salesman. We were brought to this little bungalow and were very excited about the beautiful outside shower with warm water with a great view of the lake, about the flush toilet up some steep steps with no door so you can still wave at the person on the bed, and about the Frenchpress.
We went for a Kayak ride to watch the sunset. They had traditional hollow out canoes, and promise that if two people can sit inside it and make it around the buoy and back without falling in, you get a free nights stay. We leave that as a future challenge. We had some Belgian waffles for dinner and fell asleep listening to the waves.}

_{The next morning we awoke to the sunrise and had another delicious breakfast at the lakeside. we dipped our toes in the water, and rented some snorkels. It is true- there is a very diverse population of very colorful fish! We went in to town to find bedding and sheets. While in town we decided to check in on our sailing reservation for later in the evening to Likoma. We found out that not only had our sailing time been pushed back by a day, but they could not find our reservation. I guess it doesn’t pay to book in advance!} It looks like we will be sleeping on the deck. We found this blog that seems to explain it quite well. Here we come first class! (You will have to copy paste into the browser, I am posting from my phone which lacks the same editing tools)

The Ilala Ferry, Malawi – My Best Worst Journey Ever